artwork: Anynobody
A handy web-based B.S. Generator is just the ticket for MBAs who write e-business pronouncements. Since little of their verbiage makes sense anyway, why not ask their desktop computers to generate random strings of buzzwords? Best-of-breed B.S. generators’ vocabularies always include pretentious words such as methodology and overused phrases such as . . . well, such as best-of-breed.
Let’s test-drive dack.com’s B.S. Generator. We’ll join its output phrases into sentences:
Our strategy is to exploit next-generation convergence while leveraging strategic e-business opportunities. This will drive robust schemas that expedite ubiquitous e-commerce. Of course, we must first evolve world-class e-markets and transition cross-platform synergies which will extend distributed mindshare. We can then deploy strategic paradigms in order to target visionary users. I propose that we streamline back-end metrics so that we may target world-class functionalities.
There — how did we do? Hmmm, not bad, considering that all we needed to do was link the B.S. Generator’s phrases together. True, the paragraph makes no sense, but neither do the paragraphs that are written by most MBAs.
- Two dack.com B.S. Generator reviews:
- I laughed so hard my paradigm shifted and I spent a week in the hospital.
— Mark S. - The Norman conquest served to enrich the English language, but the onslaught of business and academia threatens to diminish our language to the point where only vulgarities will have any f*cking meaning.
—Joel M.
- I laughed so hard my paradigm shifted and I spent a week in the hospital.
- For a glossary, touch base with The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary.
- For commentary, tee-up The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon, Forbes, Jan 26 2012.
- Google “bullsh*t generator” to discover more verbosity enhancers.
Russ' space 
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